You may like to think of yourself as a rational being, however, in reality, your life is motivated by Animal Removal Melbourne. Emotions upset you, drive you, intimidate you, and inspire you. They motivate decisions, move you to action, or paralyze you in anxiety, anxiety, and fear. They are the basis of your finest memories and the bond that produces deep connections with other people. In this article, we will explore four principles for skillfully working with your emotions and three suggestions to handle intense feelings such as anxiety, anger, and sadness when they threaten to overwhelm you.
Emotions are volatile. It is possible to feel anxious one moment, angry the next, and then have waves of sadness flood through you seemingly out of nowhere. Because they could take you on such wild rides, it is natural to be somewhat wary of strong emotions – and do everything you can to avoid them or keep them at bay.
You’ve seen what can happen when so-called”negative” emotions such as fear, anger, and sadness overwhelm you or others. You have memories of unskillful expressions of these feelings you wish you could forget. Images of psychological trauma are stored deep in your subconscious, warning you to be cautious once you feel these emotions or witness them in other folks. Just thinking about these emotions makes you feel vulnerable.
In the face of vulnerable feelings, a more logical approach may feel safer. It’s easier to concentrate on your thoughts and not venture into the scary world of feelings. However, reason has its limits. You may think you’re more rational than you are. Even though you can logically weigh choices or consider unique thoughts, the final”Yes this” and”Not that” arises from what”feels right.” Even if you’re focused on thinking instead of feeling, in the end, your decisions and actions are based on your own”gut feelings.”
Because emotions are so powerfully connected to decisions and actions, in addition to being connected to threatening memories along with your strongest inspirations and social connections, it is important to understand how to manage them skillfully. Let’s explore four principles for relating to feelings in a mindful, intentional, and empowered way.
Four Principles to Deal with Emotions Skillfully
While your first inclination when you are feeling overwhelmed by uncomfortable feelings, such as anxiety, anger, and sadness, may be to distract yourself, downplay the feeling, or run away, this just causes emotions to go underground, into your subconscious, where they are saved as tension in your body, eat away at your reassurance, and eventually surface as sickness. Repressed emotions are the basis of compulsions and bad habits, as well as the source of overwhelm and flareups in associations. You want to address them.
Emotions arise to give you specific information on what is happening inside you, around you, and with others-and this info will stick with you till it’s acknowledged and heeded. Thus, it’s important to change your perspective out of fear of emotions to seeing them as helpful guides. Emotions arise with information you need about your life and the energy to do it with this information. Thus, the number one principle of skillfully handling emotions is to stop ignoring them and listen to what they must show you.
You can begin by paying attention to how you feel, in your body, right now. What are the sensations going on inside your skin? Especially, notice any areas of present discomfort, since these hold important clues to what you need to know and do now.
If you are not accustomed to checking in like this, you might not feel much at all or you may feel strong aversion to feeling distress. That’s OK. Stay present with whatever feeling or lack of sense is there. Attention to feelings requires practice. It is a real skill you can learn. Bear in mind, if you don’t listen to what your emotions are trying to tell you, they get stuck on repeat and keep biking.
2. Mindfulness of what you feel changes your connection to it.
When extreme feelings arise, instead of immediately trying to do something about them, take care to witness, listen to, and feel them. This act of mindfulness brings new neural connections into your habitual emotional patterns which enables them to shift. You bring a layer of consciousness to your emotions which changes how they impact you.
Mindfulness releases you from being”gripped by” your emotions in a manner that”takes you over.” You gain freedom and space inside and around the feelings you”have,” by realizing that feelings don’t define”who you are.” They’re simply information about what is happening inside you, around you, and with others.
3. Emotions come and go.
Knowing that all feelings are transient is reassuring when emotions run strongly or cycle repetitively. When you shine the light of consciousness in your emotions, you can see what they have to show you, take appropriate action, and enable them to release.
4. Every emotion carries a message.
Once you’ve tuned into the sensation of an emotion in your body, inquire what message it has for you. What is this feeling telling you about how you are relating to a situation, to yourself, and with other people?
Given this information, what action would be useful for yourself and others?
Because we aren’t generally taught to comprehend the significance in emotions, we often miss, ignore, or avoid their messages. When we do so, emotional energy builds into overblown high play to get our attention. It is like our emotions say,”O.K. you did not get the message in my civil indoor voice, so I’m going to yell it at you.” You then feel intense anger, overwhelming sadness, or anxiety that’s through the roof.
When emotion has amped up to that point, it can be helpful to bring it down a notch to a manageable level. A few simple actions can help you do this.
3 Tips to Handle Intense Emotions
1. Pause, close your eyes, and take a few slow, deep, gentle breaths.
Stop what you’re doing, close your eyes, and focus on slow, deep, gentle breathing, in and out through your nose. Close your eyes and engaging in this sort of breathing activates your body’s natural relaxation response, which helps dissipate the pressure, energy, and intensity of powerful emotions.
2. Feel the sensation of the emotion in your body.
Notice where the emotion can be found in your body. Feel the quality of feeling there. Noticing feelings as sensations helps you witness them more objectively, so you obtain space from what you are feeling.
3. Adopt the mindful perspective of a curious audience and query the emotion as if it’s a friend who wants to tell you something important.
Bear in mind that Mindfulness means paying attention, on purpose, at the present moment, without judgment. With this mindset, ask your emotion questions, as though it’s a friend who is attempting to provide you valuable information and you’re a scientist seeking discovery.
When you follow these tips, you shift your perspective and choose the”over-the-top” intense edge off of what you’re feeling. Extreme anger may downshift into a firm”no,” intense despair can shatter into”letting go,” and higher anxiety can settle into a motivating spur to action.
After a feeling has downshifted in intensity, it is a lot easier to listen to it, feel it, and respond appropriately. You can take action to address the current situation.
The main point is that, as opposed to fearing the psychological intensity of fear, anger, and sadness, see if you’re able to move toward these feelings with a mindful, curious attitude. As you do this, notice how they shift and direct you to what you need to do right now.